IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

makes sense that the worlds nicest cop still kind of sucks! i understand what he was going for also is he??? is he pro arranged marriage????? what did he mean by that... also do grown men in nyc actually just walk around in the middle of the road like is that real because i did that when i was five + lived in the suburbs but i feel like maybe he could use the sidewalk. or maybe its cool idk i dont live in queens im not cop nicholas cage

SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS (1957) ALEXANDER MACKENDRICK

be warned, son, i'll have to blitz you. / frankly, j.j., i don't think you got the cards to blitz me. / i don't? / correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think so. / i'll listen for one more minute. / about a year ago i did you a certain favor. it was a thing--well, i never did such a dirty thing in my life. alright, alright, it's forgotten, forget it! which brings us up to five weeks ago. "sidney, i got a nasty little problem here. do so-and-so, and i'll appreciate it." did i say no? was i fussy? look, i'm the first to admit it didn't gel as fast as we'd like. but why, all of a sudden, can't i get you on the phone? and why, as of this date, am i frozen out of the column? / you finished? / no, let me finish, j.j.. i don't like this job. that boy is dumb on matinee days only, otherwise he's got a head. and susan, like you said, is growing up two heads! what i mean we got a slippery, dangerous problem here. / not we, sidney, YOU. / correct me if i'm wrong, j.j., WE!

PARTING GLANCES (1986) BILL SHERWOOD

finally a movie for gay guys who love don giovanni!!!! thank you world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this movie was really nice again i dont have that much to say it was a much more upbeat ish look at the aids crisis and uhhh yeah i enjoyed it! jokes still worked really well the sets were really nice yeah cool little movie. also probably the worlds least flattering movie poster so rude

ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN (1976) ALAN J. PAKULA

good but i do not know enough abt watergate to really Get It. sorry. dustin hoffman + robert redford crazy crossover episode ummm idk. pacing was good it was really nice looking yeah i dunno

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988) MARTIN SCORSESE

you ever watch a movie so good it makes you wish you were catholic....... fr though this movie was made for me i think. i love the setting its so awesome i am the worlds number 1 derek jarman fan and there is nothing in the world i love more than minimalist period settings!!! umm definitely a weird movie dont get me wrong but i think the way its made + cast makes it pretty accessible all things considered. umm again i love the casting decisions i completely agree with whatever was going on here although i do wish madonna played mary magdalene but c'est la vie. rlly good direction and visuals and stuff it was so nice to look at + the final shot was awesome i dont know just watch the movie its so good

KILL BILL: VOL. 1 (2003) QUENTIN TARANTINO

this was okay! ummmm idk. it was a movie it was tarantino it didnt do that much for me but it was cool it looked pretty good um yeah. idk man it was good the fight sequences were obviously good i just like dont care that much. and the costumes were good too i think ill probably rewatch sometime maybe i just wasnt in the mood idk. i think people are really insane about kill bill and maybe that scared me

THELMA AND LOUISE (1991) RIDLEY SCOTT

i would just like to say before anything else that its pure coincidence that this is my second brad pitt movie in one day. it is not a coincidence that this is the forth harvey keitel movie ive talked about so far. thank you. um really good i loved it again a movie that was good in a way that i dont have anything to say about it. i cried it looked super super good the end

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (2009) QUENTIN TARANTINO

me when every quentin tarantino movie is a love letter to cinema -__- i hate this guy fr!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually though this was amazing i cant believe i hadnt seen it before. waltz is phenemonal he earned his oscar like nobody has ever earned an oscar before like jesus christ his performance was impeccable. tarantino wrote the fuck out of this movie!!! idk what to say its perfect his characters are all genius every scene is masterclass worthy. i sound like a huge suck up but im not joking this movie was so fucking good i feel like a crazy person whenever i write one of my famously super nice reviews for a movie this good because im equally nice to above average movies as i am to stuff like this so let me be clear: inglourious basterds is the best movie ive watched and reviewed here so far. i was genuinely sad when i got to the end because i didnt want it to be over + im already looking forward to rewatching. okay thank you quentin. also PAULINE KAEL TARANTINO MOVIE. if u were not aware. im sooo excited at the end of the day im a tarantino freak even though i hadnt seen this until today. poser tarantino freak

FACE/OFF (1997) JOHN WOO

something abt this movie so faggy. very camp. can i say something insane willyou forgive me. i know hes a scientologist but ive always thought john travolta was kind of hot. im sorry. im sorry for having such middle aged lady taste in men. i wish he wasnt insane and in a cult. i wish he could just be good looking. anyway back to the movie i thought it was terrible in every way the camerawork was straight up nauseating if i saw this in 3d i wouldve thrown up for sure. it was stupid as fuck it looked like garbage it made no sense it was kind of gross (not in a fun way!) but it was awesome i loved it would watch again preferably stoned. happy oscars day heres how face/off 1997 can still win best picture

ZODIAC (2007) DAVID FINCHER

I LOVE BRIAN COX!!!!!!!! this movie is awesome as hell i think the number one metric for mysteries is whether or not they hold up on a rewatch and boy oh boy david fincher sure knows what hes doing. super beautifully shot, filled to the brim with gorgeous texture everywhere, super gritty blacks. feels like the natural progression of what fincher started in fight club cinematography wise. and the WINDOWS unmatched unparalleled never have cars felt so tactile i feel like im right in there!!!! performances are at large really good probably the only rdj role i actually like ummm gyllenhaal is perfect brian cox is my best friend uhhh mark ruffalos good chloe sevignys great. good movie abt the power of autism

FIELD OF DREAMS (1989) PHIL ALDEN ROBINSON

okay hello this movie was good!!!! by far the best i saw this month kind of insane i dont know what to say. i cried, ray liotta was hot, heaven is real!!! definitely on the cheesy side but just the premise is enough to make even the worst lines so insanely sincere. i had the time of my fucking life watching this movie i think im a baseball fan now i think this movie made me want to go watch baseball and repair my relationship with my father. thats crazy shoutout shoeless joe jackson. i love stories about bringing people back to life and this one went hard in ways i did not think possible. if i have one complaint i think ray should have been crazier and i think his exchange with joe about not being invited should have been more crazy because it was interesting and fucked up. overall though it WAS crazy + i had fun

SCARFACE: THE SHAME OF THE NATION (1932) HOWARD HAWKS

i LOVE scarface forever and ever!!!! this is cinema babey!!! so gorgeous and cool and awesome this is a perfect movie to me. no notes i love paul muni i love tony i love cesca i love howard hawkes i love every frame of this movie its so fucking good hell for this i love al capone! i love the dialogue i admit that sometimes classic hollywood makes me feel illiterate but i get these guys. im down bad for scarface 1932 and brian depalma is nothing to me!!!!!! i love the expressionistic stuff it works in i love crosses i fucking understand this movie like its second nature to me i got my finger on the pulse of scarface 1932. and i mean way to go making gangsters seem cool as fuck that disclaimer is not doing shit i just know people joined the mob after watching this. i cannot think of a more kickass description of a bad guy than scarface: a swaggering butcher of men christ I want to be a swaggering butcher of men now i want the world to be mine i want to be tony camonte where do i sign up. 100/100 goes hard i even cried

THE DUELLISTS (1977) RIDLEY SCOTT

cool movie i watched on a whim so ill probably rewatch it eventually but it was good! ive always liked the napoleonic wars as a setting for this type of personal conflict (the duellists rlly hit the spot i wanted jeanette winterson's the passion to) + i thought this movie aced it.. also if it wasnt super obviously im a big sucker for ritualistic violence so this was a banger as far as im concerned. really really fun if youre a crazy person whos into revenge narratives + napoleon bonaparte + again weird faggy rituals. and harvey keitel looks hot in this despite the mustache and braids. maybe becuz of the mustache and braids idk im not a hater they kinda rock. oh and another cool tagline like why are you as a man obsessed with killing another man? hm??

STRAW DOGS (1971) SAM PECKINPAH

i have no idea what to say about this movie i already know im going to have to rewatch it soon but yeah. movie. really really really good + beautifully shot + so unbeeelleeevably well written so delicate i know i say that about everything but its extra true here. also i hate to mention tarantino AGAIN but i think hes right when he says this movie has the best written rape scene in cinema history. insane thing to say but you gotta see it to believe it i guess. one of dustin hoffmans best performances but susan george is the real star her performance is perfect and complex and minute shes phenomenal. yeah gross fucked up movie but also one of the best movies i think ive ever watched. and the poster goes hard!!!!

THE AVIATOR (2004) MARTIN SCORSESE

another movie i wasnt sure i would like but i did very much! this like particular era of scorsese is kind of not up my alley but i loved the aviator it was so well balanced.. like its fun + blockbustery and also very delicate + intricate without being so heartfelt as to be cheesy. Big Movie with a runtime to match but the pacing works + this is probably one of the only biopics in this sort of vein that i actually had a good time watching. also the colors were awesome scorsese + richardson never miss!!!!! i totally get why people dont like this one though and i probably wont end up rewatching it anytime soon despite all the nice things i just said about it lmao. also i love scarface + pre code sexploitation so this was cool because of that too

TOOTSIE (1982) SYDNEY POLLACK

writing this a couple days after the fact but this was wayyy better than i expected :^) like arguably a bad premise for a movie but it was rlly fun + dustin hoffman is a beautiful woman

RESERVOIR DOGS (1992) QUENTIN TARANTINO

still one of my favourite movies of all time... tarantino is sooo good at pacing he fits so much into 90 minutes and it never feels rushed this movie could easily be 3 hours in my head. anyway i went on a date today (see moonstruck lmao) and we talked about the video game + i said i would play it and report back to him but i wanted to rewatch to refresh my memory! i love freddy newandyke they better do him justice.... also i never read the tagline before thats so faggy five total strangers team up for the perfect crime they dont know each others named but theyve got each others numbers??? anonymous sex when? and it doesnt really make sense like there are eight guys and vic joe + eddy all know each otehr so thats five left over except joe also knows larry so the five total strangers thing isnt even true but whatever

MOONSTRUCK (1987) NORMAN JEWISON

i love this movie its so cheesy and awesome also i hate it because i got asked out while i was watching it and didnt notice because i was so focused on cher and nicholas cage making out. anyway ive always thought this poster would make a cool shirt

TOP GUN (1986) TONY SCOTT

i think more jobs outside of scummy ones should make you have a partner. theres a reason all buddy cop movies are kind of gay and its because no other job is like that nobody makes you spend all day long with one guy like that. except being a navy pilot! apparently! anyway top gun looked so beeeyouuteeful what a pretty movie. yknow what else was beautiful and pretty? VAL KILMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was so fucking hot thank you god for the beach volleyball sequence they did that for me and me alone. i hate to admit that i mostly watched this movie because i thought it would be cool and homosexual but i did and it was :^( for realzies though all of tony scotts movies (that ive watched!) are so gorgeous and shiny + this is the perfect movie for his style its so over the top and ridiculous but he makes it so.. cool.... for an action military movie it goes above and beyond visually + textually. tarantino was right this is the best script ever and anyone it convinced to join the air force is a fag